From a young age, the American singer, songwriter, and actor Demi Lovato (they/them) experienced immense trauma. Growing up, Lovato, born in 1992, witnessed their father’s struggles with substance abuse and his abusive behavior toward his wife. Their mother also struggled with her own addictions as well as eating disorders.
In 2013, at age 52, Lovato’s father unexpectedly passed away from a drug overdose and was not found until days after. Sexual trauma was a part of Demi’s childhood as well, which contributed to their distorted sense of self-worth and lack of control.
For years, Lovato struggled with mental illnesses and eating disorders. They would restrict their eating, overexercise, and binge. They began self-medicating at a very young age. Lovato’s damaged self-image impacted how they viewed themself and their body for years. Never receiving any treatment, their conditions worsened significantly.
The pressures of fame and being a celebrity entertainer damaged Lovato’s self-esteem further. As a result, they fell deep into self-destructive vices like drugs, alcohol, and eating disorders.
Lovato’s Road to Addiction
According to their biography, Lovato struggled with bulimia, self-harm tendencies, and being bullied well before their first visit to a rehab treatment center at the age of 18. They said they self-medicated with drugs and alcohol as a teen and, eventually, their cocaine use became unmanageable.
They recall not being able to go more than 30 minutes without using the drug and sneaking it on airplanes. They soon started their recovery journey and was sober for six years.
There was an intense amount of pressure on Lovato from everyone around them to stay sober, and there was a whole team constantly working to keep them on the right track. Yet, Lovato was miserable and felt disconnected from their professional team.
Although Lovato was sober, however, they state that they were maintaining their sobriety for everyone else and not for themself.
In the 2017 documentary, Demi Lovato: Simply Complicated, Lovato says that recovery cannot be done for other people and that you have to do it for yourself. One month after they were praised on stage for their six-year anniversary of sobriety, in 2018, Lovato relapsed with drugs and alcohol. A subsequent opioid overdose landed them in the hospital. This overdose started the journey of the fight for their life. About their decision to dive back into substance use, Lovato said: “I’m six years sober and I’m miserable. I’m even more miserable than I was when I was drinking. Why am I sober?”
Lovato’s Drug Overdose
Most of Lovato’s drug use was kept a secret from their friends and family. Both Lovato and their friends state that they became very good at hiding it. Lovato did not allow people to see how deep in addiction they actually were, and no one really knew all of the substances they were using. Lovato said that when they could not get their hands on their “favorite cocktail” of cocaine and Xanax, they turned to meth, crack, and heroin.
On the night that Lovato overdosed, they had smoked heroin that had been laced with Fentanyl. As a result, Lovato suffered three strokes, a heart attack, and brain damage from the strokes. They woke up and had blind spots in their vision — they have not been able to drive ever since. Lovato says that they assumed that since they were not injecting the heroin, smoking it instead, they could not overdose.
After the overdose, they could not remember what happened, and it was stated that had their assistant not been present, they would not be alive. Lovato’s drug dealer had also sexually assaulted them before they overdosed, something they did not reveal until much later.
When Lovato was found in the morning, Narcan was administered to save their life, and they were immediately hospitalized. After checking out of the hospital, Lovato checked into a treatment center.
Unfortunately, their opioid overdose was not the last time that they would use heroin, though. Lovato said they went on a week-long intensive trauma retreat and then right after returning home they reached out to that same dealer and used again.
Lovato’s Approach to Sobriety
Lovato admits that they had not been able to obtain the feeling they were looking for with any of the drugs that they tried. Eventually, Lovato realized they could not get those feelings from drugs or alcohol. Lovato also eventually realized that they were not in control of the trauma that affected them as a child, but that they were in control presently. This notion allowed Lovato to truly dive deep into their recovery. The spiritual growth Lovato experienced in this new phase of recovery provided them with the genuine feeling that they had been chasing through drugs and alcohol for so long.
Today, Lovato approaches sobriety and recovery in their own way. Although they still smoke marijuana occasionally, Lovato acknowledges that, for many people, this does not work and can harm their recovery severely. Lovato’s approach aligns with the notion that recovery is not a one-size-fits-all process, and that what works for one individual may not work for others.
They state that being honest, expressing where a person is at, and letting go of the secrecy that addiction thrives in, are essential components for anyone in recovery.
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