Maybe a disagreement about chores got out of hand. A long-simmering disagreement finally broke the surface. Or maybe it was a relapse back into substance abuse.
There are many reasons people get kicked out of a sober living home. Even the best sober homes have a “three strikes and you’re out” policy, or something similar. So this is not an article about how to get kicked out, but rather what your next steps are when you do get kicked out of a sober home.
Why Sober Homes Have Rules
First off: what is a sober home? A sober living home (which sometimes goes by the name unconventional housing) is where people with substance use disorders go to recover from their addiction.
These homes can range from boarding houses to big mansions. They are usually run by people who have been there and done that when it comes to sobriety, and are trying to help other addicts do the same. They usually have rules and regulations that those who reside there follow.
The rules are there for good reasons. Sober homes are shared spaces, and rules are necessary to keep the houses safe, healthy, and orderly. Many residents in a sober living home have experienced trauma, and an atmosphere of trust and safety is necessary for healing.
Although every sober home has its own rules for residents, there are some common reasons people tend to get kicked out of them. They include:
- A failure to obey the rules of the sober home
- Engaging in substance abuse
- Violent threats or assaults on fellow home members
Getting kicked out of a home seems harsh, and it is. But again, a sober home involves a number of people living and sleeping under the same roof. Safety and security must come first.
What Do I Do If I’m Kicked Out Of A Sober Home?
So you got kicked out of a sober home. What now?
Well, the first thing is deciding whether or not you want to keep going in your recovery. Some people find it necessary to return to their old environment and friends, with the hope that they will be able to remain substance-free as long as they can surround themselves with those who don’t use substances regularly … or as often.
This might end up working for some. For others, the temptations and addiction triggers may be too much to ignore, causing them to fall back into the same harmful behavior patterns which drove them to rehab and sober living in the first place.
However, if this route isn’t for you, then you have several options.
The first option is finding another sober home in your area that will take you in. This may be the easiest route for people who are simply kicked out of their homes because they didn’t get along with their roommates or housemates. On the other hand, those who have been kicked out for more serious reasons, such as violence or substance abuse, may find it harder to find a sober living home that will take them in.
The second option is finding a new apartment or house where you can live on your own or with a roommate. Doing this requires being equipped with the knowledge and resources necessary to move forward with your recovery. Affordable housing isn’t always easy to find, especially if you’ve been away from the job market due to addiction and a rehab program. Plus, being on your own can also trigger relapses, especially for those in early recovery, and getting along with a new roommate may not be an option, particularly if you didn’t get along with others in the sober home.
A third option is transitional housing. Aimed at relieving the homeless crisis, transitional housing might be a good option, but there are usually long waiting lists, leaving you in a perilous situation in the meantime.
Finally, you might be able to find lodging with friends or family. This is a great option, but if your friends and family either played a role in (or actively encouraged) your substance abuse, it’s an option of only last resort.
Why You Should Avoid Getting Kicked Out Of A Sober Home
Getting kicked out of a sober home is not the end of the world. People get kicked out for all kinds of reasons, and most times they’re able to find their way back to a place to live.
However, getting kicked out of a sober home usually indicates that you’re not doing things right. If you’re living in a sober home, you’re expected to abide by the rules, both for your benefit and the benefit of others. If you don’t follow the rules or do something that jeopardizes the health and safety of others, then there are consequences to face.
Getting kicked out of any living arrangement can also be traumatic. For a person recovering from substance abuse, more trauma is the last thing they need. In most cases, avoiding this situation is possible.
Who Can I Turn To?
Sober homes tend to have a house manager or someone in a similar rule. Usually a veteran of recovery, the manager isn’t just someone who makes you follow the rules. They help settle disagreements, offer advice, and are a great person to talk to if you have a problem with a roommate or feel you’re at risk of returning to substance abuse.
If you’ve got a problem with the manager, try turning to your case manager if you’re part of a drug rehab program. They can help you see things from a different perspective, talk you down from a relapse trigger, or even assist you in finding a different sober home to join before things get out of hand.
Your case manager is also someone you need to turn to if you do get kicked out. They can find you another place to live in most cases and understand the ups and downs of recovery.
Need To Find A Sober Home? You’re In The Right Place
Like we said, mistakes happen. Getting kicked out of your sober home can feel like it’s the end of the world, but it’s more often a sign you just need some more help. Remember what happened, work on the resources you have, and move on with your life.
SoberLivingNearYou.com is the internet’s biggest directory of sober homes. With thousands of listings at your fingertips, finding a sober home for your needs, personality and lifestyle have never been easier. Start your search for a sober home today with SoberLIvingNearYou.com!