There may be no holiday more suited to sober people than Thanksgiving: there isn’t a day most of us aren’t thankful.
Thanksgiving’s great, too. Friends and family come together, gather around a big table (or a TV showing the big game — we won’t judge), catch up with each other and eat.
Unfortunately, for sober folk Thanksgiving and the rest of the holiday season can be something of a minefield. A lot of people like to celebrate this time of the year with alcohol (and frequently overdo it, too). For someone trying to maintain their recovery, the most wonderful time of the year can become a parade of stressful, awkward events where all the joy gets sucked out of the room thanks to pressure over substances.
It doesn’t have to be that way. With a bit of planning and creative thinking, any sober person can have a great time during holiday gatherings – and have their accountability intact at the end of it.
Here’s how:
Tip 1: Consider Doing Things Your Way
If you’ve come out of a rehab program, you don’t just have new life skills and a new outlook – you have some seriously good resources. Try organizing or even hosting a sober get-together. It’s a great idea because you’re able to dictate the terms. Nobody’s going to sneak in a bottle or pressure you into drinking – sober people are all on the same team.
Better yet, a lot of treatment centers organize events during this time of the year. If your center has an alumni program, you have the ideal platform to try and put something together for the holidays.
Tip 2: Plan Ahead
If you’re not able to attend a sober gathering, it’s not the end of the world – with a little preparation, you can navigate any event sobriety intact.
First things first: if your Holiday event is going to be with heavy drinkers, or if you just have a bad feeling over it, don’t go. While giving up old friends is hard and painful, it’s also necessary if you want to continue on your path. People still caught up in heavy substance use are neither likely to understand or tolerate your life or the hard work you’ve put in to get this far.
But if this is just an ordinary gathering of friends and family where there’s going to be a drink or two, just plan:
Let your sober friends know what’s up: You might get into a situation where you need a pep talk, or maybe just to hear from another person who knows how it is. Tell your sponsors/program friends you might be calling them. They might need to call you for support, too.
Let your non-sober friends know what’s up, too: You might be surprised by how supportive friends and family can be. Plus, if they know you don’t drink, they might be much less likely to mistakenly offer you a drink.
Don’t get there super early: A lot of people tend to “pregame” meals like Thanksgiving. When you’re sitting around waiting for food to be served, drinks tend to get tossed back. It’s a situation best left avoided.
Consider BYOSB: Bringing your sober beverage is a great tactic. First, you didn’t show up to the event empty-handed. Secondly, it lets other people know you’re not drinking alcohol. Finally, if you have a sober drink in your hand people are less likely to offer you something else.
Work out an exit plan: Things can get uncomfortably boozy even with family, so if things look like they’re getting out of control, feel free to split. Your sobriety must come first.
Tip 3: Find An Alternative
Don’t have the resources for your gathering and think the one you’re invited to is going to be too high-pressure? This is a great chance to start your holiday tradition.
Go for a Christmas morning hike. Volunteer at a sober facility or shelter – people in recovery know how important and valuable service to others is. Google sober events around your location – there’s always something else to do.
When In Doubt, Just Be Yourself
Let’s say you’re the only sober person at the gathering. This can be awkward, high-pressure, and no fun. Remember, you don’t have to stay, and if you do start feeling overwhelmed, it’s fine if you leave.
If you do stay, the best thing you can do is just be you. Instead of feeling isolated or under pressure to have just one drink, focus on something else. Enjoy the food, reconnect with family (or meet some new people), or share your story with others. You have a lot to be proud of and have survived things others haven’t.
If worse comes to worst, just focus on the future. Holiday gatherings don’t last forever, and when it’s over you’ll still be your sober, recovered self – and you won’t be paying a price the next morning.
It’s also a good idea to reward yourself for getting through an event. A lot of people, sober and otherwise, can find holiday events overwhelming and stressful. Knowing that you have a “you day” after a get-together helps. Treat yourself to a spa day or something else that’s sober and self-indulgent once the pressure is off – it’ll make the next one even easier.
Living Sober Is Easier With Sober Living
The holidays can be the happiest time of the year, but they can also be stressful and somewhat isolating, especially if you’re surrounded by people who don’t understand the way you live your life. Sober living offers companionship with people who truly get what you’re trying to do because they’re on the same path.
Finding a sober home can be tricky, though. It’s why we developed SoberLivingNearYou.com, the internet’s largest directory of sober living homes in the US. With our directory, you have the ideal resource to find a home for your exact budget, needs, and lifestyle.
Don’t wait – your search can start now. Start browsing SoberLivingNearYou.com today.
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